"What If Good Leadership Means Having the Tough Conversations?"

Have You Ever Struggled to Confront a Team Member About Their Performance?

As a first-time manager, you probably stepped into your role with excitement, eager to lead, inspire, and make an impact. But what happens when one of your team members isn’t delivering? How do you tell them without damaging morale or your working relationship?

Tough conversations about underperformance are the true test of leadership. Avoid them, and resentment builds. Handle them poorly, and you demotivate your team. But when done right, these conversations can lead to growth, trust, and a stronger team.

So, how do you, as a first-time manager, address underperformance without feeling like the “bad boss”? Let’s break it down step by step.

Step 1: Shift Your Mindset – Difficult Conversations Are a Leadership Responsibility

Most first-time managers hesitate to address underperformance because they fear confrontation. You may think:

“What if they take it personally?”
“What if they quit?”
“What if they push back and argue?”

But here’s the truth – Avoiding the conversation does more harm than having it. When an underperforming employee doesn’t get feedback, their mistakes continue, team frustration grows, and ultimately, the responsibility falls back on you.

Mindset Shift: See this as a coaching moment, not a confrontation. A great leader helps people improve, not just points out mistakes.

Step 2: Diagnose Before You Discuss – Identify the Root Cause

In Indian workplaces, where hierarchical respect is deeply ingrained, employees may hesitate to speak openly about their challenges. Before assuming that someone is lazy or disengaged, pause and reflect:

Is it a skill gap? Perhaps they were never trained properly.
Is it a motivation issue? Maybe they don’t see the impact of their work.
Are there any personal challenges? A family issue or health concern could be affecting their performance.
Is there clarity? Are expectations and success metrics clearly defined?

Example: You notice that Priya, a once-efficient analyst, has started missing deadlines. Instead of jumping to conclusions, you have a casual chat over coffee. She confesses that since her manager (your predecessor) left, she’s been confused about what’s expected of her.

Leadership Lesson: Sometimes, underperformance is not a capability issue—it’s a clarity issue. Before confronting someone, gather facts through observations, past performance data, and informal check-ins with colleagues.

Step 3: Setting SMART Goals for Clear Expectations

One of the biggest reasons for underperformance is unclear expectations. Vague instructions like “Do better” or “Be more proactive” don’t help employees understand what success looks like.

A great way to set clear expectations is by using SMART goals:

S – Specific: Clearly define what needs to be done.
M – Measurable: Have a way to track progress.
A – Achievable: Set a realistic target.
R – Relevant: Align it with team and business objectives.
T – Time-bound: Give a clear deadline.

Example: Poor vs. SMART Goal for a Sales Executive

Poor Goal: “Increase your sales performance.”
SMART Goal: “Increase monthly sales by 15% over the next three months by reaching out to 20 new leads per week and closing at least 5 new deals per month.”

Example: Poor vs. SMART Goal for a Content Writer

Poor Goal: “Write better blog posts.”
SMART Goal: “Publish four high-quality blog posts per month, each with at least 1,500 words, proper SEO optimization, and an engagement rate of at least 5%.”

Leadership Tip: Whenever setting performance expectations, ask yourself—”Would I know exactly what to do if I were in their place?” If not, rework the goal using the SMART framework.

Step 4: Having the Difficult Conversation – Use the SBI Feedback Model

Once you’ve diagnosed the issue and set clear expectations, it’s time to give feedback. Instead of vague or judgmental criticism, use the SBI Model, developed by the Center for Creative Leadership (CCL), to provide clear, specific, and actionable feedback.

SBI stands for:

Situation – Identify when and where the issue occurred.
Behaviour – Describe the specific behaviour you observed.
Impact – Explain the effect it had on the team, project, or goals.

This model keeps the conversation objective and non-personal, reducing defensiveness and creating space for constructive dialogue.

Example of Using SBI in a Conversation:

“During yesterday’s team meeting (Situation), I noticed that you interrupted the client multiple times while they were presenting their needs (Behaviour). This made it difficult for them to fully explain their expectations and may have left a negative impression (Impact).”

Leadership Tip:

After sharing feedback using the SBI structure, pause. Let the employee respond. Often, their perspective will give you more insight into the root cause. Then, you can co-create an action plan using SMART goals.

Step 5: Follow-Up – Progress Doesn’t Happen Overnight

Schedule regular check-ins – Weekly or bi-weekly, depending on the situation.
Recognize small improvements – If they show progress, appreciate it publicly.
Course-correct when needed – If there’s no improvement, revisit the conversation and adjust the plan.

Example: After your conversation with Priya, you see her reports improving slightly. During your next check-in, instead of focusing on what’s still wrong, you say:

“Priya, I can see that you’ve reduced errors by 30% this week. That’s a great step in the right direction! Let’s now focus on meeting deadlines more consistently.”

Leadership Lesson: Appreciation fuels motivation. Recognizing effort increases the chances of sustained improvement.

Your Leadership Journey Starts Here

If you’re a first-time manager, know this: The best leaders aren’t the ones who avoid tough conversations, but the ones who handle them with honesty, clarity, and care.

“Difficult conversations are almost never about getting the facts right. They are about conflicting perceptions, interpretations, and values.”
— Douglas Stone, co-author of Difficult Conversations

So, the next time you notice an underperforming team member, don’t ignore it. Take a deep breath, prepare well, and have the conversation. Your team—and your leadership skills—will be better for it.

What’s your biggest challenge when addressing underperformance? Share in the comments!

This article is contributed by the GlobalGyan Editorial Team as part of our Leadership Essentials series.
In our series ‘Difficult Conversations for First Time Managers’ by Guan D’Penha, Senior Manager – Learning Solutions at GlobalGyan Leadership Academy, we will be sharing insights on the challenges faced by first-time managers.

In the next chapter, we dive into one of the trickiest tests of leadership—Holding Employees Accountable for Missed Deadlines

“What If Good Leadership Means Having the Tough Conversations?”